There is no such thing as a perfect lesbian love story. Like all types of relationships, there will be ups and downs. Things might not always be rosy, and we should not expect a smooth run. Relationships require lots of effort from both partners for them to thrive. Here are eight practical tips you can implement for a happy and robust lesbian relationship.
1. Solid Foundation
You and your partner should first be the best of friends, who can talk to each other about anything. Love does fade at some point and is not enough to sustain a relationship. A perfect solution would be meeting a partner on a special dating website made for seeking love, but where you can develop a good friendship with someone, too.
Nowadays, single lesbians tend to use Lesbiemates, a platform designed to help women connect for any kind of relationship. Judging by the review above, the platform is made exclusively for gay women, so the chances of meeting a perfect lesbian are a lot higher than on any average dating platform, which is a major reason for single lesbians to use it.
You can chat as long as you want, establish a strong bond, and only then ask your girl out on a first real-life date. Relationships built based on a friendship are usually stronger and last longer!
It is said that you cannot pour from an empty cup. Self-care is one of the most important ways to fill your cup. You will be a better partner to your girlfriend when you take care of yourself first. Nobody wants to date someone who is always groggy and doesn’t think highly of themselves.
Do make sure you eat right, exercise, and take care of your mental health. It is essential to affirm yourself constantly; from the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
3. Conflict Resolution
Disagreements are inevitable and lesbian relationships are no exception to the rule. During such moments, please do not invalidate your partner. It is essential to be kind, even when you are right and they are wrong.
Bringing up previous wrongs does more harm than good in such situations. Make sure you do not speak out of anger, as words cannot be taken back once said. If the argument gets too heated, take some time apart to cool off and reevaluate when the both of you are calm and level-headed.
4. Love Languages
Take time to know your girlfriend’s love languages. She might not like being bought expensive gifts, but she loves it when you clear the dishes or neatly arrange shoes at the doorstep. Both of you should take a love languages quiz to better understand the way to each other’s hearts.
Knowing each other’s love languages not only strengthens your bond but also lessens the occurrence of arguments. It’s the little gestures that make the most significant difference in a relationship.
5. Be a Safe Space
One good thing about being in a lesbian relationship is that you can be comfortable in your skin away from the unrealistic body images portrayed on social media.
Strive to create an environment of openness and silliness where you are not afraid you will embarrass yourself. Have a couple of inside jokes that you can use to poke fun at each other.
6. Be Self-Aware and Self-Reliant
If you rely on your girlfriend to make you happy and whole, you will be deeply disappointed. Codependency is not an admirable trait in any relationship. You should have your interests and hobbies outside your love life. Your girlfriend should be an enhancement to your life, and she should find you happy, fulfilled, and having your own thing going on.
7. Personal Responsibility
Personal responsibility means being the partner that you would want to date. Take accountability for how you made your partner feel, even though you had no intention of hurting them. Apologize often and change the way you respond to certain situations.
If you do not like a particular aspect of your relationship, take charge and make necessary changes. Remember that when you put in 100% effort, your partner will feel motivated to give 100% back to you.
Supporting each other is vital in any relationship, no matter if we are talking about friendship or romantic relationships. Always show your partner that you’re ready to watch her back in any situation, no matter what happens.
Because sometimes, the feeling that we have someone we can rely upon is half the success. The same works the other way, too: don’t be afraid to let her know that you need her support. Tell her that she is your strength and shield, and she’ll love you back even stronger.
Last but not least, communicate your feelings and concerns as soon as they arise. Would you please not sweep things under the rug or wait until the situation has escalated too high? Let your partner in on your expectations of them and your plans.
Do not expect your partner to read your mind, as you will end up resenting them. Talk to your partner about whether or not they plan on starting a family someday. There are plenty of factors to put into consideration, genetics included.
Discuss the various options and decide which will be best suited for you and your girlfriend. Communication about matters intimacy is also crucial. Couples have varying sex drives, and coming up with a mid-ground will see to it that none of you feels neglected and dissatisfied.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but you won’t find a perfect partner! We are all human and flawed. The best we can do is love unconditionally and forgive as often as we can. Your girlfriend will feel loved and wanted when you go out of your way to keep the fire burning in your relationship. Nothing beats getting butterflies in your stomach when you are around the love of your life.